Min’e son The Fourty-Five

Hey all! I woke up this morning (at 1:00 pm) and found this work of ART on the computer. I’m sure Sarah would re-edit it and fix all the typos and stuff so I’m going to post it unedited while she’s still asleep. Because any modifications to what folows would be crime.

Oh god here she comes!


Colin wants this to bed titled: Min’e son The Fourty-Five.

Okay,. so we made it back from the full moon party…. barely. Colin says if I feel life writing an email…. [address removed to protect the innocent from crawlers]. We met two swecdish pepolpel on the wqy to haad rin tonight and stayed with them for most of the night. i can’t bveliefe isn’t nearlyu 1;52 AM …

it’s almost 3:00 am is what I meant to say but too drunk to hit the wright keys



right, not w. anyway, we are very drunkl , but w have maid it home without horrible accident(!). amazingly, this is not colin speakihg, but sarah.

Sarah is glad we have miad.. not MAID no… MADE it back to the apartmen.t no house, ok.

but she is incredibly durnk, and amazed that she guided the two of us back. and another anadian fro dsa staskatoon, sort of.

we left him in thongsala where we hompe he found White [Something] in the end. As I was saying, i’m surprised it’s almost 3 am, considerign we left at something like 7 pm and didn’t do much but have supper and watch a fire show. good god, that fire who must have slasted like four hours.

colin says; thnaank god we’re home; thank you sarah, for it is only yoouu we havec to thank. oh odgod yes.

whatever that means

good god it can’t bre good to be this drunk. i’m hoping i wont’ get sickl , but i’m always the earliest to get sick so yea, i’m fucked. anyway we met this great swedish couple, Daniel and Owasa, on the taxi ride from Thongsala to Haad Rin. The taxi from hin kong to thohnsaala was another matter in which we were SCREWED, thank nobody.

But this coupl were pretty cool. Daniel is a programmer and web developer like us, and somehow ew shared a lot of tastes, movies and music and such. They have heard of the Moldy Peaches, OMG!! I can’t believe it.

So we must ahve sepebt an amazing amoutn of time drinking thai whisky and watching a fire show that colin claims was “SO Street Fighter and so surreal, so surreal”. the backdrop of which was a longtail boat, which would not take us to thongsala. ( :( )

I can’t brelieve what a punch those bucketds pun h. I had been watrned by various pamplets and a few people who had been ther before, but I was like “anything with caffiene in it an’t be all bad, right?”. Holy crap. I am so ooooooooo


Like amazingly. And I don’ get drunk because it does such getribe things to my stomach, but I am afraid I f I have a gravol now it will fuck up my rain even worse than just sitting here typing.s


O type.

Jesys I feel like my brains have serious been through an egg blender.



I just wenht to tell lcolin how utterly drunk I was an dto make sure he was OK (becaurse it’as true that I was the one twho got out sus out of haad rin alive and he seemed musch drunker than k i was and I wanted to make sure he was oik, OK?)

NY way, I sayid sometjhing like, just looke how drunk i am, and slammed into bed beside him, and utterly jammed up mmight left showlder for like no realsojn at all.

because I am SO DRUNK

drunk eople are SUPIID. clolin is havein’gt a slower now and i will probably join him onece my showdler stops hurting and i am not longer afraid i will hurt it agai.n. i hope nobody can see my nekked brests out th eone wilndow i coulndt’ drpape to the stret beecause our window drapes are roken in tha region.

you get my drift….

i ncan’t believe it is 3! I thini we have expreienced REAL DULL MOON PARTY! (funny how il displacewd d for f wthere…)

really it was just a lot of watching ethese fire gys. we got there earlyt, with the swedes as i have mentioned , and we aewere all hiungry for dinner (arund 7) so colin thought we should sit out on the sand and be waited on (we wanted to faind Sme Same but coudnlt’). Sand was good, food was cool (danish)/. we had a coogld time talking. nice to meet some eople how are not us!

anyway, around teh end of food someone light a torc h belined us. crayzy, that. it seemed to mean,

gey holy crap i just realizd by pain in the righ side doean’st uhunrtn right now

woudl have thought it woudlo hurt extra bad after drunking so much, but it doesn’t seem so vengeful as that. instead., my shoulder hurts. bad me! :/

sokay, so as my terrible, destroyed drunken mind was trying to impart; a torch was lit which meant we wert in Fire Central, population: Us! Some ghuys came out with your average hiippie-beach implemnets; the fire things-on-string, and (new to us) the fire-sticks!

(Every time i hear a car coming ih ave to cove rmy brrr-eASTS up – isnt’ that funny!)

Colin ia wngoying a shower within out me – i am jealous and will join him hownow! (brfeast hiding!)

Holy crap I’m shakin gwith the redbull invluence. this can’t beli just caffiedn; the my st puut crack in those bucket.s. i cn’ feel precious brai c3ells disappearing. my finteers are now numb. jesusy i onl yhad like two.

honly hit i only had like two; how ca i be this drunk

or is the laptop shocking me because i am wet? it does that sometimes; the poewrbar we got to fix it doesn’t entire ly fix it…


before i get this we t an d destroy it: [edit: email adresses removed to protect the innocent from crawlers] (grammATIcal error on purpose)

or not on pursbose by david necesarily; but by me,sarah


I’m not saying that should make any sence; it was jut anothernote daniel wrote beside his two ewmail addresssem

qyave it is UZUMAKI, not with a 32

hocolin is the hicucups. i am not tryig to be sick. instiead, i sear to go d i am shaking here, just shakihn g from the acarrfeiend in those buckets. jesus! sucshaking. i guess it is like daytime for yous in bc right now. wow. we always tried but never managed to satay up this late so far.

but unfortunatly i will proably not post this before our morning. instead, it will remain saved on tehd deakstop to be preoofread an dspellchedked sometime tomorrow when we twake up. n i suppose colin will not be making his kiteboarding lesson after all.

okay, so , brains coming toeger for a minute here. haad rin. full moon. we had dinner on the beach, on these mats aon the beach, and soon found ourselves in the FIRE ZONE., some people with fire-dongles an dfinre-sticks came by and starting twierling taht shit, FAST, and cool. holy crap were they cool. they had craziness of tatooes down their backs and once they started sweating up; coly crap the COOL! colin said they were the cooles peoplt he’d ever seen; i9 cadgree! godedamn cool.

tight jeans, underwear showing like an inch above thme, butt crackeds above that, tatotoes above taht, FIRE aboev ethat, so CXOOL!

(n i ask colin if he is goin to bed, he says “maaaa, machnnnnnn” LITERALLY, that is what he sais. not just typig it, that is what i hears.

goddamn still jitteyr from thoise buckets, which are everything pepole say; totally KILLER. i’ m so jyving i don’t know if i’m jumping too. you know? so buncing i don’t know if i’m also hurling. :)

but so long as i keep my girlpillows covered, i cN Skeeptyping.

m sure this’d be earliser with a noremal=sized keyborar, really. have YOU tried typing totally drunk on a tiny notebook keybaoryd? then don’tkujdget~!

SOK, SO, these swiss fellows were cool. i mean skandahoovian, or something. sweedish. colin madew a joke, but for reals, when you’re drunk, shaknadawhateverian. kept talking about hockey players and roxxette and stuff. okay, so i’m hungry ow it seems; time for … fridge!

Nothing involving a knife.. instead jelly! Yu!m from Beeya (wouldn’t want tol see ya…._)

Definitely still to drunk to sleep. no wonder i never pass out. i hold on until my brain kicks back in eveyr time.

Oh brain; I miss you, I love you. i liked hearing in both eaqrs too, the rinding is unpleasant. i woul dlike to haer in both ears and wee with both eyes and not be worried piekbple can see my breast s at any moment through the ne indow we cdan’t shot the drapes on, because the drapes-holdre has broke n and the draps are in our bedroom now .

Oky, so to let oyou in on sometihgn : i’m just typin gthis because drunk epople sound so funny and i’ll like to see how this looks in the morning (or tahtar afternoon when I wake up).

Jeppllyt6 == BLAHG. beeya is a nice girl but her food is not good for my body. lall jelly and fat and deep-freind stuff. fresh coloco nuts are goood through. anything fro m nature is good right? even jellyfish that sting?

maybe not so much. i am sure i am annoying colin wth my typinhg. or maybe soothing. i do onot pause to hit backspace much, that is noice. i only have to think of more things to say… things fro onigithg.

Colin rigeally made an effot to talk to everoyone in our taxi today. even before we hit ban thai an dsatrtined the craziness upwards, he hd made friends with everyone in there. the swedes were the best tho; the most like us. nice folk. just as drunk, in the end. so the fire.. was…. fireful. th e swedes wer like, ‘WE’RE going ot talke a walk” and i wantedto geo with but colin was all mesmerized, and , i guess , drunk as hell. so we stayed and they walked and we got like two mbuckets more – holy crap. they did like a whooel drunken shopping dtrip and returned. we went to some other bar, stumbling, druknkledly, and had noather bucet. when we left the girls was all “you haven’t paid me for taht” and I guess we hadn’t. holy rap we were so drunk!!!

i seawear we barely saw any dancing but pushed through a termendously large crowd after that bar to get to the boats whicdh i hoped were going to thongsala but wehre not.j ust lots of remixed pop. we will totally go agian next month an dnot ge tso “i n buckets” righ t waya so we can see waht is what first.

hesus so drunk i have never been and still typihg. usulaly so sick in theb atchroom, hurling and bathing agt the same time. enver pass out, eme. seems like maybge i should kthough; easier on my poor brain than typing everyintn gout wrong. all the s places, wrong. so many times i am typing some other word becAUES IT is similar, like “places” instead of “s[acing” or like “spacing” onstead of “spaces” or like “onstead” in stead of “instead”, but mostly because o and i are frightingly close on a keybaord. one would fireut they’d move such imprtant key s further apart.

Or maybe vowels aren’t so mimportant to keep different. coin mentioned swarts or womting…. “Schwaa” the other day: the sound all vowels tend towards; the lazy sound one makes by slacking the jaw and passing air through the vocal chords. “uuuuh” kind of sound. maybe vowels aren’t so important sinc e”uuuuuh” can be u or a or o or maybe even i or e. THINK ABOUT IT~!

okay so i lost 60 dollars tonight. i was khiding it in my undrewear. i don’t think one of those grabby lay kids could have tgot it shou i must have drunkenly dropped it in the second bar we stopped at when i wehnt to the washroom (and used the first thai toilet i evern did!). i was so proud of myself for the thai toilet success! but not for loosing 2000 baht, speciallly when we got the crab home and we didn’t ahe enought to pay. tho i have a feeling they woudl have kept a whole 1000 baht bill if we had one to give to them…….

they were very nice, the cabbies who took us home, to our door, in a VAN no less (much less scary thant the songthaw up to haad rin). also cheaper, bt that is beacuse we ere TOTLALLY HAD in the cab from our driveway to thongsala, becacuew we neglected to agree on a price beforehand. and were not willing to argue afterhand.

i’m totally going to fall ashellp right here; it seems right to me anyway. can’t to into the bedromb ecause i will bug colin an dhe will be ug me; it is the way o fthigns. i eed to gurn of the light first tho.




no accidnets. now to fall asleep.

(seems prety eay stoo – wil do ow!)

quarter to seven… this s the time we would usually be waking up, with th esun. the day is so grey i can barely see the difference between land an dsky. a longboat cuts through the horizon, going north. why am i awake? again? the bucket, myfriend, the buu-ket. i coulds join colin ijn the bedrooms; but whatever. ust be keeping him more awake at this point. instead, t o write about the day. and my hnagover to come. surely

and to sneak right around colin, as it were.

what surely could have been a piece of dribft wood out there; a dot, gturns out in the lenses of my binocs to be a man, on a raft, with a stick. he performs some kind of majoic; the raft dsiappears; is he turning around? perhaps. still a dto ton the horizon, what is theis man looking for wat dawn?

it seems the man, the white form on th e raft, is now gone. has he doven in? is doven a word? why have my language centres failed me? everything is so strange in the land where sea becomes sky, and alcoholic drinks and strangely trace-inducing.

probably he’s out on the reef, i think.

omg beeya just came by, but i sent her away. we have enough jellies and deepfried stuff here, and i don’t know where we would get more money to pay her. i’m glad i woke up after all. :)

wow, I am SO going to sleep all day, eventually. ;)

hey I lost like $60 last night – oops! damn my fallible secret girl-pockets! somehow the whole thing seemed worth it though; overpriced taxi and too many donations to the fire guys and WHERE DID FIVE HOURS GO???? I feel like I have been robbed, of time. well not robbed as obviously we had a great time last night. But still the time went somewhere, and where was that? Did we really sit on the beach and watch people wave burning sticks around for FIVE HOURS? I suppose we may have.

Okay, by the end, once the buckets really started hitting home, Colin totally degenerated and started speaking french and broken broken english, some spanish, some japanese. Daniel had picked some japanese up before their trip to Tokayo (which I must remember, is cheaper than people say – they said it was cheaper than Copanhagn!) so everything was exceedingly funny, and in french. He kept asking me, how do you say this or that (in french?). As if they knew French anywaY! But it wasw hilarious. All theway.

K WTF is happpening with that raft out there? guy has jumped overbord, and the raft now looks likea jellyfish. He is adjusting something from the water (which is probably only waist deep out there, a kilometer and a half away). Nets? In the raft? Oh the binocs are a little broen; I think the alignmnet needs to be adjusted and maybe the lenses cleaned? After our kayak tirp I’ll wager, witch was both binoc-eventful and damp.

Holycrap spelling! It’s like the first thing to go when you are drunk. Okya, that and the ability to hit the keys you are aimig for. Really this would be eaiser on a full sized keybaord, or if I was used to typing on this little keyboard. Hey – they had little roll-up keyboards at the satellite shop! Must reembmer to ask if they have any wifi routers when they come ot install the satellite. If it is today, someone will robably be here (possibly asleep).

I can’t believe the sweeds renteda bike and rode the crazyfucking road from thongsala to where they are staying in teh south east IN THE DARK~! Seriously I woudn’lt attempt the road to haad rin even in the day in our biek, and their road is supposedly worse. I guess if you’re going 10k the whole way it could bre possible. But jeeze!

Oh-ho are the ants goign to love me; getting brfeadcrumbs all over the floor here.

Okay, so I heard only a whisp of trance at the FMP last night. Plenty of funk, hard beats, and at the drop-in pub where the fire guys were: pop. Even fucking DISCO! Colin kept askig “is this abba?” and I was like “no colin, for hte love of god don’t ask the swedes that.” Tho they weren’t as down on abba as we had expected. Those guys did do some interesting things for mixing in the music industry, apparently, and even swedish geeky music connesiours respect that.

Can’t belive how I jammed my shoulder lsat night, after we freaken got home alright. it hurst, as does my bad ankle. what doesn’t hurt though, is my right kidney. strange!

Colin is still alive and sleeping soundly. Yay! TOtal non-mishap last night! (except for me loosing 2000 B and jamming my shoulder)

Still no idea what buddy-guy out on the raft is doing. jellyfish seems to be gone and now he is circling the raft in the wtaer. Must be some kind of net fishing? Must be. Man, the things you could catch out there on teh reef! If that is where he is; he sure seems a long way out.

Analog clocks are so noisy, you even notice that? Just another thing digital clocks have over them. The primary thinng being I CAN READ digital clocks; never really got into reading analog. Tho I heard in a school somewhere on the island, they had to switch to digital everywere because the students couldn’dt read the analog clocks. Now if that isn’t a sign of a bad education to be had, I don’t know waht is.

HOmeschool@! Wow I wonder how tht ekids on koh phangan get their K-12 education. I’ve seen plastic posters featuring numbers or (thai) ABC’s for sale, and one installed in a backyard gazebo up the beach. ALl homeschooled? or just the younger years. I’ve seen lots of kids in the internet cafes roundabouts; to me that seems a healthy passtime, even if they are just using it to look up the official pages of thai pop stars.

K i know I’m cmoing back now; i’m restructuring sentences after thyeping them! Still with thec lumpy skeys and mis-hits beacuase my brain starts typing antoerh work. I wonder if this s beacuase the ability to type things like “work” instead of “word” are so unconscious they are stored well away from higher though, like the reflex of pulling your hand out of a fire. So when higher learning brfeaks down a little due to our friend [chemical composition of alchohol], those reflexes take over and I type “that” instead of “take” because it is a more commonly requested four letter word starting with “t”.

Brains are fun!

GUy-with-stick-and-raft is totally sticking his raft in towards us. and there seems to be something dragging behind him. dude across the street is back to hammer… things… in our yard I think. He was making a wall a few days ago in the garden where our street borders the raod. Good on ‘im! 7:30 finally seems like an ungodly time in the morning to be awake. Finally! Normally I would have bgeen up and eating breakfsast by now. Tho I am eating breakfast, it is only to put something in my stomach so it does not implode. The danish meatball baguette I had for dinner last nigth was not sufficient to fill me until morning. It was barely sufficient to soak up the buckets that were coming it’s way. So, after dude brought the meatball sub, he asked me, “what kind of dressing do you want?” I was SO mystified but got thousand island. swedes said this seemed to be common. I did dip my sub in it in the end becaues it was so dry and not much full.

I wish they had subway here! :) aND good sushi. tho I don’t think I’d wnat to eat sushi in any of the restaurant s wev’e been to so far. I still do love curry, and would have been happy with a panang or green curry lsat night instead, but it was a danish place so hey – while in danesland~!

Note: lat night instilled in me a desire to travel more. I’d love to see Tokyo now. Well I wanted to before but I REALLY want to now that I know it won’t necessarily cost me my life savings. Also new zealand. Why? I don’t know, maybe the sheep. Maybe that all the pepole I’ve met from there are supercool, and everyone who has been there loved it. Bangkok still meh, because that seems to be the consensus on it from eveyone we’ve met. THey’re all like, yeah, go there, spend a few days there, never go back.

Guy’s raft is again ABANDONED! He MUST be searching for things in the reef. Maybe shells? Crabs? Yeah those big crabs colin had for lunch are down there in the reef. But figured crab traps would do better… maybe he has crab traps down there?


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